Senior-Safe Facebook — A Plain-English Setup & Survival Guide
Last verified: August 2026
Keep the grandkid photos, the neighborhood group, the church page. Lose the scammers, the fake friend requests, and the creepy "your friend posted this video" links. A calm walk-through of the settings worth turning on, the scams worth knowing about, and the 30-minute audit any adult kid can do with Mom this Saturday.
Why Facebook Is Still Worth It
I get asked a few times a month whether somebody's mom should just quit Facebook. My honest answer is almost always no. For a lot of the folks I help, Facebook is where the grandkid photos live. It's how the church shares the prayer chain. It's where the Atwater Yard Sale group posts about the spring rummage. It's where the neighborhood group warns each other about the porch thieves on Diagonal Road. Quitting Facebook costs more than most of us want to pay.
What I do recommend — every single time — is sitting down for about 15 minutes and turning off the parts you don't need. The default settings on a Facebook account are tuned for a 22-year-old who wants strangers to find them. They are not tuned for a 75-year-old who wants to see pictures of her grandson's first day of school. Those are different jobs. This guide is the second one.
Here's the deal: Facebook itself is not the problem. The problem is who else gets to talk to you on it, and how much they get to see while they decide whether to try. If we close the door on the strangers, the rest of Facebook gets a lot more pleasant — and a lot safer. That's the whole guide in one sentence.
Facebook moves these menus around every few months. If your screen doesn't look exactly like what I describe, don't panic — the setting you want still exists, they just rearranged the kitchen. Look for the words in bold, or open the Settings page and use the little search bar at the top. If you ever get stuck, call me at (330) 200-8042.
👨👩👧 For the Adult Kids — Audit Mom's Facebook in 30 Minutes
If you're reading this for a parent, here's the short version. Sit down with them at the kitchen table on a calm Saturday, with their laptop or tablet, and walk through this together. About 30 minutes. The trick is to do it with them, not to them — explain what each setting does as you go.
- Run the 15-minute privacy audit (below) together. Let them click. You read the list out loud.
- Turn on two-factor authentication. Use their cell number. Print the recovery codes and put them with the passport.
- Check the active sessions list. Log out of any device they don't recognize. Change the password if anything looks off.
- Look at the friends list together. Duplicates and strangers get unfriended. No guilt.
- Pick a family safe word. One ordinary word everybody knows. If a Messenger message asks for money without the safe word, it's a scam.
- Schedule Bill's Facebook tune-up if you'd like a second set of eyes. $99 flat, one hour, at the kitchen table. Call (330) 200-8042.
Don't lead with worry. Lead with "I'm going to do my own Facebook this Saturday — would you do it with me?" You go first. You don't ask permission. You ask for company.
The 15-Minute Privacy Audit
If you do nothing else from this guide, do this list. About 15 minutes, costs nothing, shuts the door on most of the trouble I see. Open Facebook on a computer or tablet (the buttons are easier to find than on the phone) and start clicking. None of these settings are permanent — you can change them back anytime.
- Settings → Privacy → Your Activity → Who can see your future posts — set to Friends.
- Settings → Privacy → Your Activity → Limit who can see past posts — click once. All your old public posts become Friends-only.
- Settings → Privacy → How people find and contact you → Who can send you friend requests — set to Friends of friends.
- Settings → Privacy → How people find and contact you → Who can look you up by phone / by email — set both to Friends or Only Me.
- Settings → Privacy → Do you want search engines outside Facebook to link to your profile? — turn OFF.
- Settings → Profile and Tagging → Who can see your friends list — set to Only Me.
- Settings → Security and Login → Two-Factor Authentication — turn ON.
- Settings → Security and Login → Where you're logged in — review the list, log out of anything you don't recognize.
Can't find a setting? Every Facebook Settings page has a little search bar at the top. Type "past posts" or "two-factor" and it will jump you right to it, even if Facebook moved the menu. That search bar is your best friend in here.
Only Me, Friends, Public — the Three Audiences
Almost every privacy setting on Facebook boils down to picking one of three audiences. Once you know what these three mean, the rest of the settings stop being scary.
- Public (globe icon) — anyone on the internet, including search engines. Almost never use this. Save it for things you'd put on a billboard at the end of your driveway.
- Friends (two-people icon) — only people you've accepted as Facebook friends. The right default for almost everything: photos, status updates, the grandkid pictures, vacation stories (after you're home).
- Only Me (padlock icon) — just you. Use for your birthday year, your phone number on the profile, old posts you want to keep but not show.
The Scams
1 Friend-Request Scams — Widow, Soldier, Duplicate Account
What it looks like: A stranger with a beautiful profile photo and "widow looking for friends" in the bio. A uniformed serviceman "deployed overseas" who somehow found you. Or — the one that gets the most people — a friend request from somebody you're already friends with, claiming their "old account got locked" and this is the new one.
- The account was created recently. Click the profile, scroll to the oldest post — if it's three days old, it's not your friend Linda.
- Almost no friends. Real people who've been on Facebook for years have hundreds of friends; a fake has 12, all from this week.
- One or two stock-looking glamour shots, no family photos, no comments, no history.
- If unsure, ask outside Facebook. Text or call Linda on the number you already have.
- Decline the request — or just leave it sitting. Declining a friend request is not rude.
- If you accidentally accepted a fake, go to the profile, click the three dots, pick Unfriend. Then report the profile (next section).
- Text the real person so they know there's a clone running around.
Setting your friends list to Only Me (the audit, step 6) makes this whole scam much harder — the scammer can't see who to target next. About a 30-second click that saves your friends from a lot of fake requests.
2 The "Hey Grandma, It's Me" Messenger Scam
What it looks like: A Messenger message lands from somebody who looks like your grandson, your daughter, or an old friend. It feels urgent, it feels family, and the profile photo is the right person.
- They won't take a phone call. "My phone is broken," "I can't talk right now," "I'm at work." Real grandkids in real trouble will pick up if you call.
- The payment is gift cards, Venmo, Zelle, or Cash App to someone you don't know. Real family emergencies get paid by check, by you showing up, or by the bank.
- They beg you not to tell anyone — especially not the parents. Secrecy is how the scam survives.
- Stop typing. Don't send anything yet.
- Call the person on the phone number you already have for them. Not the number in the Messenger chat — the one in your phone's contacts.
- If they answer and they're fine, you just caught a scam. Tell them their account is probably hacked, and send them to Settings → Security → Where you're logged in to clean it up.
- If you can't reach them, call another family member. Yes, even if the message begged you not to.
- Then call me at (330) 200-8042.
This is the same scam as the grandparent phone call — it just arrived through a different door. The defense is the same: hang up the chat, call a real number, use your family safe word if you have one. If you haven't picked a safe word with your family yet, do it this weekend.
3 Marketplace Pitfalls — Cash Apps, Movers, and Code Requests
What it looks like: Facebook Marketplace is Facebook's online classifieds — like a neighborhood yard sale that runs all year. A lot of good deals happen here. A lot of scams happen here too. The good news: almost every Marketplace scam looks the same once you've seen one.
- "Pay through Zelle / Cash App / Venmo first." A buyer offers to pay before pickup, asks you to send your username, then either reverses the payment or sends a fake "customer protection" screen that wants more money. Rule: cash on pickup, period.
- "I'll send a mover to grab it." A buyer can't come themselves but offers to pay you and a moving service — please could you cover the mover's fee, they'll add it to your payment. The moving service is fake.
- The too-good-to-be-true listing. A $4,000 riding mower for $300, "selling because we're moving and need it gone today." They want a deposit to "hold it." There is no mower. There is no seller.
- "Can you send me the 6-digit code Google just texted you?" That code lets them take over your phone number. Never read a code out loud or type it into a chat.
- Cash on pickup. In daylight. Meet at a busy spot if you can — many police stations now offer their parking lots as Marketplace exchange zones, free.
- Never share verification codes. No real buyer or seller needs one.
- Don't ship. Marketplace is local. Anyone asking you to ship out of state is almost certainly running a scam.
- Trust your gut. If the buyer or seller feels off, message someone else.
I've helped customers buy a washing machine, a couch, and a pickup truck on Marketplace — all just fine. The rules above are simple enough that you can keep using it. If a buyer or seller starts pushing on any of them, that's your signal. Move on, no apology needed.
4 "Your Friend Posted This Video" & Fake Login Alerts
What it looks like: A Messenger message from a friend: "OMG is this you in this video?" with a link. You click. The page asks you to log in to Facebook to view the video. You enter your password. There is no video — you just handed your password to a scammer, who is now inside your account, sending the same message to your friends.
The same trick comes through email: "We noticed a login from Romania. Click here to secure your account." The button takes you to a page that looks exactly like Facebook and asks for your password. Same trap.
- Never click the button in the email. Open Facebook yourself — type facebook.com in your browser, log in, and look at Settings → Security and Login → Where you're logged in. If somebody's actually there, you'll see them in the list. If the list looks normal, the email was fake.
- Check the sender's email address closely. Real Facebook emails come from facebookmail.com or facebook.com. Fake ones come from facebook-security-alerts.net or other lookalikes.
- When in doubt, delete the email. If something is actually wrong with your account, Facebook will tell you when you log in — you don't need the email.
I get a customer call about one of these every couple weeks. The fix, after the fact, is to change your Facebook password, turn on two-factor authentication, and check the active sessions list. About 20 minutes of cleanup if you catch it fast. Don't be embarrassed — these fake pages are very good. Just call.
Two-Factor Authentication — The Single Best Thing You Can Turn On
Two-factor authentication — folks usually call it 2FA — means that even if a scammer somehow learns your Facebook password, they still can't log in without a second code that gets sent to your phone. It is the single most powerful thing you can turn on, free, in about three minutes. Every account hijacking I've cleaned up could have been prevented by 2FA being on.
- Open Facebook → click your profile picture → Settings & Privacy → Settings.
- In the search bar at the top of Settings, type two-factor. Click Two-Factor Authentication.
- Pick Text message (SMS). (An authenticator app is more secure but harder to set up — texts are fine for most folks.)
- Enter your cell phone number. Facebook will text you a 6-digit code. Type it back in.
- Save. From now on, anyone trying to log in from a new computer needs your password and a code from your phone.
- Look for "Recovery codes" on the same page. Print them and tuck them in the same drawer as your passport. They get you back in if you lose your phone.
Reporting a Fake Account or Impersonation
If somebody made a copy of your account, or you spot a fake "new" account of one of your friends, you can report it directly to Facebook. They do read these and they do take fakes down — especially when the fake is obvious (same photo, same name, three friends, three days old).
- Go to the fake profile.
- Click the three dots (•••) near their profile photo or cover photo.
- Choose Report profile (sometimes called Find support or report profile).
- Pick Pretending to be someone → then Me if it's pretending to be you, or A friend if it's a friend.
- Submit. Facebook usually responds within a day or two.
Also message your real friends and let them know: "Heads up, someone made a fake [your name] account. If you got a friend request from me recently, ignore it." Post it once on your real profile. That kills the scam faster than waiting for Facebook.
If your own account was hacked, go to facebook.com/hacked — type that into the browser bar by hand. Facebook will walk you through regaining the account. If you've lost access to your email or phone too, call me at (330) 200-8042 and we'll work through it at the kitchen table.
What to Share — and What to Keep Off
Facebook is meant for sharing — and that's fine. Most of what you post is genuinely just for friends and family. But a few specific kinds of posts give scammers the tools they need to come at you and the people you love. Here's the short list of things worth keeping off Facebook entirely.
- Your full birthday (month + day + year) — birthday + name + city is enough for many identity-theft attempts. Month and day only, or skip it. Real friends remember.
- Your daughter's vacation while she's away — "Visiting Sarah in Hawaii this week — house is empty!" tells anyone reading exactly that. Share the photos when everyone's back home.
- A medical update with full names — "Dad's seeing Dr. Smith at Cleveland Clinic for his heart" gives a scammer the script for a fake "this is Dr. Smith's office" call. Share the good news without the details.
- Your home address or new-house photos with the house number — post the porch, leave the number out of the frame.
- A photo of your driver's license, passport, or boarding pass — just don't. Ever. Same with your Medicare card and Social Security card.
- Answers to the "fun quiz" posts — "Your first car, your mother's maiden name, your elementary school" are also the answers to your bank's security questions. Scroll past.
The vacation one catches the most people. I see "heading to Florida for two weeks!" posts every spring. Post the photos when you're home. That one change has stopped a couple of burglaries I know about.
Mute, Unfollow, Unfriend, Block — Without Drama
Facebook gives you four ways to make somebody stop bothering you, and they're not the same. The right one depends on how much distance you want and whether you'd rather they not notice. From gentlest to firmest:
- Snooze (30 days) — stops showing their posts in your feed for 30 days. They never know. Good for the cousin posting too much during election season.
- Unfollow — you stay Facebook friends, you just stop seeing their posts. They don't get a notification. They still see your posts. Perfect for keeping the peace.
- Unfriend — you're no longer Facebook friends. They can't see your friends-only posts. Not directly notified, but they'll notice eventually. Use when you want real distance.
- Block — strongest. You disappear from each other's Facebook entirely. They can't find you, message you, or tag you. Use for harassment, stalkers, scammers, or someone fully out.
Unfollow is the most useful one almost nobody knows about. Most family disagreements on Facebook would be fixed in five minutes by quietly unfollowing the cousin who can't help themselves during election season. No drama, no Thanksgiving fight, no fight at all.
Deactivate vs Delete — Knowing the Difference
Sometimes folks decide they're done with Facebook. Facebook gives you two ways out, and they're very different.
- Deactivate — the pause button. Account goes invisible. Friends can't see your profile, photos, or posts. Nothing gets deleted — Facebook is just hiding you. Log back in anytime and your whole account comes back exactly as it was. Use when you want a break.
- Delete — permanent. Facebook gives you about 30 days to change your mind. After that, everything is gone — photos, posts, messages, friend list. You cannot get it back. Use when you've thought about it and saved your photos first.
The buttons are at Settings → Your Facebook Information → Deactivation and Deletion.
Most folks who think they want to delete actually want to deactivate. Try the pause button for a month first. If after 30 days you don't miss it at all, then delete with a clear conscience.
📞 Bill's Facebook Help Hotline
(330) 200-8042
Call me first — always free — if:
- A Messenger chat is asking you to buy gift cards or send money.
- You got a friend request from somebody you're already friends with.
- Facebook sent an email about a login from a place you don't know.
- A link asked you to log into Facebook again, and you did.
- Your account suddenly won't let you in, or you see strange posts you didn't make.
My promise: If you call me about a possible scam, I will call you back within 24 hours, no charge, no judgment. Mon–Sat, 9:00 AM – 7:30 PM normally.
Wallet Card — Laminate & Carry
Cut this out, fold it once, slip it in your wallet. A 30-second sanity check for anything happening on Facebook that's making your stomach feel funny.
🛡️ Bill's 30-Second Facebook Check
- Did I ask for this message? If not, slow down.
- Is somebody asking for money or gift cards? Always a scam.
- Did a "friend" pop up with a new account? Check your friends list.
- Is a link asking me to log into Facebook? Close it. Facebook doesn't ask twice.
- Did a code text arrive I didn't ask for? Never read it out loud.
- If unsure → close the app, call Bill: (330) 200-8042
Bill's Home Tech · Atwater, Ohio · bill@billshometech.com
Quick Glossary — Words You'll Hear
- Friend (Facebook sense)
- Someone you've added to your account who can see your Friends-only posts, your photos, and most of your profile. Not the same as "a real friend" — Facebook uses the word more broadly.
- Messenger
- Facebook's separate chat app. Even people who aren't your Facebook friends can sometimes message you here. This is where the "Hey Grandma" scam lives.
- Profile vs Page
- A profile is a person. A page is a business or organization. You "friend" profiles and you "follow" or "like" pages.
- Tag
- When someone mentions you in a post or photo. Turn on "Review tags before they appear" to approve them first.
- Marketplace
- Facebook's classifieds — buy and sell used stuff locally. Mostly fine. See the scams section above.
- Two-factor authentication (2FA)
- A second password — usually a 6-digit code texted to your phone — required to log in on any new computer. The single most powerful free protection. Never read these codes out loud, no matter who's asking.
- Phishing
- A fake email, message, or webpage pretending to be a real company (often Facebook itself) to trick you into typing your password into the wrong box.
- Clone account
- A fake account a scammer makes by copying somebody's name and photo, then sending friend requests to that person's real friends.
- Block
- The strongest "go away" button on Facebook. You and the blocked person can't see, message, or tag each other at all.
Want Me to Walk Through This With You?
I do a one-hour Facebook tune-up visit — $99 flat, at your kitchen table. We open Facebook on your computer or tablet and walk through every setting in this guide together. We turn on what you need, turn off what you don't, answer every question. 30-day follow-up included. The visit I wish more people scheduled before something happens, not after.
Would you rather I just do this for you?
No shame in it — plenty of folks would rather hand it off, and that's what I'm here for. I'll come to your home, set it up right, and make sure it's working before I leave. Flat $99 per visit — no jargon, no upsell, and every visit is 30-day come-back-free.
Not a hardware job? I can often fix it remotely for $49 — a secure screen-share, up to 2 hours, that you watch the whole time and can end whenever (included free for $39/mo Support Plan members, and it counts toward the $99 if it turns out I need to come out).